Have you finally orgasmed yet?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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