He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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