i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Come see our sink grown plant.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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