how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
