My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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