Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
