The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize