She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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