ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you have to choose: penises or morals?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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