Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
