HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
