you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
