I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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