you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
