do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
