Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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