And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
