How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
