my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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