Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
