you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
