If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
