I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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