First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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