It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
