I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
