Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
