chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
