Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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