Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
