If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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