her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
