oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
