OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize