Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We are all done wearing pants today
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
