I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I can't turn off my feet"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
