No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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