Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
