You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
