In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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