Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
