yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
