Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
