VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
