I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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