Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Randomize
