if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
