And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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