just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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