You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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