Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
