i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
