yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
