on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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