He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
