just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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