I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The feeling are messing with the penis
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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